When the insertion of the number 4 in a film’s fourth outing as a substitute for the letter A is the smartest thing it’s able to execute, you know you aren’t in for the smoothest of operations.
In a year where we’ve seen certain action sequels prove that there’s ample gas in the tank and creativity bounding without limits (Mr. Hunt and Mr. Wick say hello), The Expendables 4, or Expend4bles as it’s been so “cleverly” fashioned, would like to get away with its numbing physicality by leaning into the mentality that “turning your brain off” is the best way to enjoy it. And whilst that may help for some, I can’t imagine wanting to be at even less of an intelligence advantage when watching Scott Waugh‘s sorry excuse for an actioner for the sake that you might forget to function.
Though the series initially had a certain nostalgic charm to it as the action heroes of the 80s and 90s bounded together with newly-propped genre mainstays, it slowly lost its way as franchise overseer Sylvester Stallone started to equate that bigger meant better, and the more stacked the cast, the less likely audiences are to cotton on that distraction is the best tactic for films that have shockingly little to offer beyond bloodied violence and comedic quips; two things Expend4bles – the first of the series that Stallone hasn’t aligned himself as a screenwriter – can’t even manage to execute successfully.
When World War III is threatened (because, of course) off the back of heartless villain Rahmat (Iko Uwais, the Indonesian choreographer deserving so much better) stealing the type of detonator that could start such an event, Barney Ross (Stallone, looking quite worse for wear) and his rag-tag team of mercenaries are called in to diffuse the situation. It’s the same type of “act now, think later” movements that drove the last three films, only this time around they’re under the command of Marsh (Andy Garcia, saddled here with some shocking dialogue – and that’s saying something considering what Kurt Rimmer, Tax Daggerheart and Max Adams concoct), and Barney has pretty much relinquished command to his forever right-hander, Lee Christmas (Jason Statham, trying his best).
Very much leaning into the notion that “if you’ve seen one, you’ve seen ’em all”, Expend4bles fails to justify its existence, with action sequences that submit to the mentality of gunfire and a little hand-to-hand combat, and if there’s enough quick spurts of bloodied body parts and verbal reactions it’ll appear as if they’ve done something cool enough to impress the teenaged males Waugh seems to be market cornering; it seems like the most logical explanation as to why Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson and Megan Fox were roped in for this nonsense too.
On the mention of Fox, even though she appears far too glamorous throughout (her make-up and hair is not action adjacent), it’s a treat to see her involved at the end of the day. After being unfairly side-lined for speaking up regarding certain mistreatment post-Transformers, she’s had a largely VOD-friendly career trajectory, and whilst some of her choices have been questionable, she’s often the best thing about the productions themselves, and Expend4bles affording her the opportunity to flex her sensibilities as an action capable presence is the one thing it has working in its favour; it’s just a real shame that it’s a movie of this quality. How this made it to cinemas is actually baffling.
Flexing an odd aversion to profanity (Statham calls someone a “dumbbell” at one point in an inflection that suggests this is an insult of the highest calibre) amongst its quickly-paced violent content, and exercising both green screen and CGI “competency” that put the film’s $100m budget into valid question, Expend4bles carries itself as if it’s aware that it’s all a bit of a joke, but it’s trying too hard to successfully execute such a temperament. Never has a title been more apt, whatever nails weren’t secured in the coffin of this series following the misguided part 3 are more than bashed to obliteration here.
ONE STAR (OUT OF FIVE)
Expend4bles is now screening in Australian theatres.
