Gemma’s life is about to take a dramatic turn. Living in London, she faces the sudden loss of her American fiancé, Nathan, just before their wedding day. Nathan’s passing forces Gemma, who has always been skeptical of modern marriage, to reassess the meaning of a lifelong commitment. With a push from Nathan’s free-spirited and unpredictable sister, Audrey, Gemma makes the bold decision to proceed with the wedding. However, to say “I do,” she must navigate public opinion, legal hurdles, and even her own family’s objections.
Directed by Daniel Reisinger in his feature debut, And Mrs uses Gemma’s quest to challenge societal norms and offers a vibrant exploration of London, the city where they lived and loved. Thematically, it rebels against the traditional British ‘stiff upper lip’ mentality, delivering a heartfelt message that there is no ‘right’ way to grieve, and that love can truly conquer all.
As the film screens across Australia as part of this year’s British Film Festival (you can read our review here), our Peter Gray spoke with Daniel about his own personal grief infusing interest in the script. After they waxed lyrical about Gladiator II, the precious state of physical media, their mutual adoration of Michelle Pfeiffer, and why being the character actor is always the better option, the two touched on the film’s greater importance beyond its genre sensibility and utilising humour as the greatest tool to combat trauma.
When you’re reading a script like And Mrs, and you see that your romantic lead dies very early on…is that one of the major pulls for you? That it just subverted all expectation?
Yes, exactly. You know, you’re reading the script and, first of all, it’s just so surreal, because you have Aisling Bea and Tom Hanks’ son, Colin Hanks, and it starts off as this cheesy rom com, and it isn’t very interesting five pages in. But I was reading it because I met the writer (Melissa Bubnic) and I loved her, and she’s besties with my bestie. I had just finished making my sitcom in the US (Sidewiped), and that was achieving a life’s goal. I was really proud of it. But I had had some pretty bad things happen in my life prior, where two weeks before I read the script my mum called me absolutely gut wrenched telling me she found out she had a rare form of dementia called FTD. And it was terminal.
Then, two weeks later, Melissa came into my life through a mutual friend, came to brunch, asked me to read the script, and as I’m reading it I’m just not interested. Then Colin Hanks’ character dies. I’m just blindsided. I was like, “What in God’s name is this? And how has a human being formulated this idea?” And I’d partly grown up on France, and in France it’s a normal part of life to do this thing that we would probably think is insane in our culture, which is to marry someone who has died. There’s actually a story about a police hero who tried saving an Australian woman from a terrorist attack in France a few years ago. They both died in the attack. But (the cop’s) longtime boyfriend, Étienne Cardiles, wrote to the President and asked permission and married him.
It’s crazy how that is viewed though when we live in a society where Married At First Sight is such a phenomenon. I’m married, and it feels cheesy to say, but I really believe in being married to the same person for the rest of your life. Like, I believe in that. But we have these TV shows where you can marry some (random) who you hate? But it’s okay, because we can just get divorced. And that’s acceptable in our society. I’m not saying I don’t know why people get divorced, because I absolutely do, but is it not okay to say that you love someone for the rest of your life? And in France, there’s no financial implications. You don’t get their money. So you can’t just say, like, “Hey, Elon Musk just died, I’m going to take all his money!” It’s a true pronouncement of love. Ultimately, my mum passed in 2022. Have you ever lost anyone close to you?
I lost my father. I was about 4-years-old but…
There’s no “but” on that. That’s massive. I’m so sorry.
But there’s a lot that plays into the movie side of things for me. Growing up, mum was the only parent I had. And our thing was going to the movies together. I feel like she introduced me to film and really let me explore my interest. And a few years ago I went through some awful shit, personally, and I knew that as bad as everything may get, I know that I would always have movies. Writing is one thing I know I’m good at, and, as cheesy as this sounds, movies saved me in many ways.
I feel like my mum has always looked over this project, I was always waiting for the right (project) and this was definitely developable for me. I found out that news about my mum, and then a week later, Universal called me to tell me they’re making the movie. I’m supposed to be excited. I hadn’t told anyone about my mum. No one wants to hear that, which is part of the point of the film, and they tell me about the movie and it is the best news ever. But I just started sobbing, and everyone’s like, “Are you okay?”
I was so embarrassed to tell them that my mum had died, but I felt like (this movie) was because of her. Even finding out we were getting released at Palace (Cinemas) was something. You had your tradition with you mum. My movie tradition with mum is that she loved the Palace Cinemas. We’d go out and eat pasta and then see some weird European movie with way too much sex to watch with her (laughs). And now my movie is playing at Palace. It just felt like mum was looking out for me.
When mum died I just started deep diving films. Like you, I’m a movie nerd, and I thought, “Maybe I should be watching great films, and I don’t need to watch Speed 2.” (Laughs). But I would watch these great films and I would just turn them off because it wasn’t what I needed. I was attached to And Mrs and as we were talking through the script I wanted to know who are these grief films being made for? Because they weren’t being made for me. You know, we started this conversation about Gladiator and Gladiator II, and one of Ridley Scott’s favourite films is Muriel’s Wedding. It’s not bullshit (laughs). I’ve heard him say it countless times. But what’s magical about Muriel’s Wedding is that it does something that’s been forgotten. It does really broad, really accessible humour. You’ve got Toni Collette seeing a (penis) for the first time in her life, and she’s laughing hysterically. Then Rachel Griffiths crashes to the ground and (her character) is paralyzed for life. It’s just a lost art.
But the single most gratifying thing about making (And Mrs) has been partnering with an amazing organisation called Good Mourning in the UK. We partnered with The Dinner Party in the US, and here in Australia we partnered with Griefline. If anyone out there is going through it right now and this is triggering you, please call Griefline. They are amazing. I wish I had know about them at the time. As an artist you want to make something that connects with human beings and can help in some small way. My personal philosophy as a creator is I want to be able to have difficult conversations through humour, you know? If you lecture someone on what they need to do, it never works. If I want to make a delicate point, I always try humour, and I hope And Mrs puts its arms around your shoulder.
Talking about making people laugh through humour, one of the things I really loved about this was that it did have that British sensibility about it regarding its humour. Yes, it made me sad, but it would often make you laugh at moments you weren’t sure if it was okay to.
Yeah, that’s what I was hoping for. I want someone who’s into their first week of grieving to be able to turn this on. But the other thing about our film, for those that haven’t seen it, is it’s a new spin on the rom com thing. Hopefully it’s good for people who like rom coms. But as a group, we all came together with the same shared mission. I don’t know if you know this, Peter, but you and Aisling, my star, have a lot in common, because Aisling lost her father when she was three, and she wrong this beautiful article for The Guardian about how it shaped her as a human being and how it made her be a clown. She was always trying to lighten the mood in the house.
And then you have Colin Hanks, and you think his life is perfect being Tom Hanks’ son, but he lost his mum in his early 20s and his best friend prior to filming. And then Billie (Lourd), where she loses her mother, Carrie Fisher, and her grandmother, Debbie Reynolds, within 48 hours of each other. That’s bonkers! And yet she’s still such a wonderful, effervescent person. You know, we’re all so invested in our mission of trying to make people laugh about grief.
And Mrs is screening as part of this year’s Russell Hobbs British Film Festival, running between 6th November and 8th December, 2024, across all major Australian cities; Adelaide, Brisbane, Canberra, Melbourne, Ballarat, Perth, Byron Bay, Ballina and Sydney. Head to the official website for more details on cinema locations and session times.
