After two months in Africa, Joel Creasey has returned home and boy is he happy. So much so, that he even had bestie Chrissy Swan asleep in his spare room because they had a sleep over the night before #BlessTheirCottonSocks. So much to chat about, so let’s get to it.
Give us a debrief of South Africa.
It’s weird being back, but it was amazing being there and also just the weirdest two months. I had a Black Mamba snake living in the roof of my apartment, which is one of the most deadliest snakes in the world, but the locals were like “don’t worry, it wont bother you”.
It’s such a weird reality, and you know what’s odd, 10 days in I didn’t care and I didn’t even think twice about; by then end I acclimatised to the African life. We’d drive to work and there’d be a zebra blocking the path, and in the first few weeks it was really exciting but by week five you’re just like tiff off zebra I need to get to work. Standard Africa life. It’s so beautiful too; every morning is like a scene out of Circle of Life.
Did you get to do a safari?
OMG I did so many. They’re stunning. What’s great on a safari is you either go early in the morning or in the afternoon. So in the morning they find somewhere beautiful to stop and you have coffee, but then on the afternoon drive you stop and they do sun downer drinks, so you can be having a gin and tonic watching the elephants have a bath; it’s really cool.
Are you having post travel blues?
Living in Melbourne the most dangerous thing I’m going to encounter is a hipster barista at a café so I’m thrilled to be home, but I was just looking through my Instagram and I saw the crew posting their final photos. That African sunset; you don’t get views like that in Australia.
You’re quite lucky because you got to experience tho show as a contestant last year but as a host this year. Which is better?
It’s so hard to say because this year I was in luxury. I had an infinity pool and hung out with the crew; so horrendous I know, but you know what, I think being a contestant may be better because first of all, I got to be the centre of attention, but also you don’t form bonds with people like that in any other situation. Even though its so shitty, you’re camping outside and you’re eating nothing, it’s such a once in a lifetime experience.
Now can we talk African men. Are you with us on the fact that they are some of the sexiest men on the planet!
They are incredibly sexy, even the game rangers. They’re the ones that when you drive up next to a lion they’re your lifeline and they’re so relaxed and cool, and I found that very, very hot. And cause we’re in such a remote area, all the men are rugged and serious; you totally know they’ve wrestled a crocodile at least once in their life. I want a man who knows his way around a pride of the hyenas.
Your comedy festival show this year is delightfully named The Crown Prince. Now, is there something you’re not telling us? Did you marry into royalty in Africa and you’re giving us the scoop?
I know. I was trying to meet an African prince and move there. No, I was arrogantly trying to title the show just to piss off every other Australian male.
What can we expect from this show?
Basically I’m going to be filling my audience in with the gossip that I’ve encountered in the last year or so. I’m not trying to change your view on the world or push your political agenda. Just come along, we’re gonna laugh about some ridiculous celebrities that I’ve met, talk about awful awkward situations I’ve gotten in, we’re gonna laugh about people and it’s gonna be fun.
I figured I’m privileged enough to go backstage at these crazy, ridiculous celebrity events, so I just take a notepad with me and document it all cause seriously, the stuff that goes on is ridiculous and hilarious and I keep finding myself in awkward situations with these people, mostly from my own doing cause I’m such an idiot. Every time I get home from these dumb situations, I lie in bed the next morning and think OMG did that actually happen last night? I have to remind myself to hold onto this as it will make great stand-up material.
In theme with the title of your show, are you team Prince Harry or Prince William?
I am team Prince Harry. I think he’s a little more exciting, a little more my flavour, I don’t mind a ginger, and I think he’d be fun. He probably wouldn’t call you the next day though. I think he’d be more hard to get whereas I think Will would be a bit more needy, he’d hang around, want breakfast and you’d be like I’ve got a hangover, go away, it was a one night stand. But Harry, he’d be out in the night.
You do love a good selfie on the ol’ Insta. Even though Kim Kardashian is said to be the queen of selfies, which of the Kardashians do you think you could teach a thing or two about the selfie?
She’s technically not a Kardashian but I could teach Caitlin a thing or two about her selfies; they’re just badly composed and have bad lighting. I think I could teach Kourtney too; I think she’s the most boring, there’s nothing behind her eyes and that’s what I’d try teach her, give her some light in her face, but that could possibly be hard to do cause they’re all so botoxed. I think Kim and Khloe have it covered.
To finish we have some quick-fire ‘Would You Rather’ questions. Would you rather Donald Trump or Hilary Clinton for President?
Hilary Clinton and actually in 2008, I went to LA and volunteered on her campaign team the first time she ran for President. I worked in the office for a couple of weeks. I’m a huge Hilary Clinton fan.
Would you rather be in Kanye West or Taylor Swift’s squad?
Oh tough. I’m worried I’m not skinny enough to be in Taylor’s, and I’m quite a thin person. I’d like to be in Taylor’s, but in reality I think I’d probably be in Kanye’s. He’ll let you do your own thing too whereas Taylor would make you fall into line.
Would you rather the moto Hakuna Matata or YOLO?
I’ll go with Hakuna Matata. I did actually audition for The Lion King musical and it was honestly one of the most horrendous things ever, I don’t know why I did it. I auditioned for the bird. My manager got a call and I went in, and I can’t sing, but they made me sing and I lost my place in the song and the pianist was like where do you want to pick it up from and I didn’t know the right musical terminology, so we just had to go from the start.
Would you rather be on Ellen or Jimmy Fallon?
Oh that’s tough. I think Jimmy Fallon, no maybe Ellen; at least she airs in Australia. No, no, I’m gonna stick with Jimmy cause I think I could be a bit dirtier on Jimmy but with Ellen she’s a bit more Disney.
Would you rather eat donuts or cupcakes?
Donuts. I just follow a lot of Instagram accounts that are dedicated to donuts.
Would you rather go back and change one thing in your past or know one thing in your future?
OMG. I might go back and change in Grade 11 accounting class, I told my teacher that I loved her shoes and I said it so loudly in front of the other boys and I got shit for it for the rest of the year. Either that, or when I was 19 I tipped my hair blonde to impress a guy and it just looked ridiculous, so now I can’t look at photos from the age of 19 cause I just look horrendous. #Awkward and the guy in hindsight was really not that special; he was so boring.
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Joel Creasey’s The Crown Prince is playing as part of the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. He is playing most dates from 24 March – 17 April. Get tickets here.
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