Just like that, long running HBO hit True Blood has met the true death with a final 10-episode run to cap off it’s seventh year. Just like that, True Blood saunters off into that realm of failed TV finales, settling in beside Showtime’s Dexter into the pile of rubble that we once loved, and then ended up feeling sorry for. Just like that, years of separating True Blood from vampire garbage like Twilight seems like one massive, baseless mistake. The stimulating supernatural world created by Charlaine Harris, and adapted by Alan Ball, opened thrilling genre series that skyrocketed off the back of two brilliant seasons and some very entertaining characters arcs; who would have thought the legacy True Blood leaves behind in 2014 would be this bland.
Most of the clever allegory the show once had was no longer there; any sense of fun also completely gone; all that we were left with in the end was mildly funny banter, really confusing love stories, and whole heap of hammy dialogue. It’s almost as if the writers wanted us to take the love we had for these characters – which surprisingly endeared through a wave of choppy seasons – and have it to turn into complete apathy. The straight arrow that ended in irrelevance began with the first episode, which was so poorly handled that it left me feeling more confused than angry. I kept wondering if the writers realised that they only had 10 episodes to show us why investing our time in True Blood wasn’t a bad idea; they failed at that by wasting time with inconsequential sequences and basically repeating the same mistakes they made in some of the series’ worst episodes. You don’t twiddle your thumbs when you have 10 episodes left; you just don’t.
When the final big question of the entire series is ‘will Sookie euthanaise Bill?’ the show comes to a point where it stops being an edgy, excessive guilty pleasure and starts being a melodramatic farce geared towards satisfying the less discerning watchers; the ones who, granted, will keep True Blood’s legacy alive, but only through really badly mashed up YouTube videos of their favourite True Blood couple set to One Direction or 5SOS, with a lame portmanteau like “Joyt” (Jessica + Hoyt = 4eva) or “Erookie”.
The final run of episodes also rested heavily on our attitude towards Bill, and while he is personally one of my favourite characters from both the books and the first few seasons, the writers destroyed him by turning him into a (temporary) vampire god, and then an author, and then some guy who has constant, pointless colonial flashbacks at the most random fucking times. The conclusion of the Bill and Sookie arc actually worked quite well, considering everything that came before it; Bill was originally designed to be a self-sacrificing and genuine character, and him choosing to die because he knew he could never let Sookie live a normal life was in line with how Charlaine Harris characterised Bill. However, despite the decency of “Thank You” – all things considered – everything that happened from episodes one to nine felt vapid.
The seemingly main threat of the season – infected zombies – fizzled out in the first few episodes of Season 7, but not before Tara, Alcide, Maxine Fortenberry, and Kevin were killed off. The first two in strange, unceremonious situations that proved to be completely unnecessary and felt much too forced to have any sort of impact. To further Tara’s death, we got several frustrating Lettie Mae scenes that only ended in a mildly touching V-fueled reunion. Meanwhile, Maxine’s death seemed much more important as it was the catalyst to bring back good old innocent Hoyt.
Hoyt had always been a character which grounded the wall-to-wall crazy that the show would constantly throw at us; and for that, he was one of the most likable characters before he left for Antarctica in season five’s finale, and had Jessica and Jason glamoured out of his mind. One of the very few scenes which managed to have emotional weight was when Jason had to tell his bemused ex-bff about Maxine’s death (at the hands of Violet). His return was a welcome one, and resulted in some nice closure for Jessica, Jason, and Hoyt. The wedding in the finale would have been a fine addition to the season, had it not taken up much of the final episode; but it was a good excuse to get everyone (except Lafayette, surprisingly) in one room before Bill’s death. Jessica getting married so Bill could experience walking someone down the aisle – something he never got with his actual daughter – was quite touching, and showed that the writers were at least competent at bringing things towards some sort of emotional closure.
One of the show’s most successful characters, Lafayette, was given very little in this season; he didn’t even have ANY lines in the final episode and played less of a role than peripheral characters like Holly and Arlene. Eric – the shows biggest draw card – ended up being used for comedic relief as he, Pam, and Ginger ended up being the only entertaining parts of the final few episodes; but even then, he was reduced to someone just biding his time until he decided to kill the Yakuza and profit off their ‘new blood’ idea. The health care allegory was the only intelligent thing about the entire season; but even that could have wrapped up a few episodes earlier than “Thank You”, leaving Eric and Pam to interact with characters who they actually shared chemistry with.
In mentioning chemistry, one has to really regret that there wasn’t more Eric and Bill, or Jason and Andy: the series’ two most entertaining duos, and the characters which shared the best on-screen chemistry (excepting Jason-Steve Newlin and Eric-Pam). Instead, Jason was thrust into story arcs which required the least interesting side of him to show, and we almost forgot Andy spent most of the series being the sheriff of Bon Temps.
While there were scenes throughout Season 7 that worked; for the overwhelming majority, True Blood’s final season was possibly the most disappointing I’ve seen of a major TV series. Two (possibly three) “good enough” episodes out of ten is a really bad way to end a show. I used to watch this show religiously and defend it whenever someone would rightfully mention that it got boring fast; and while I didn’t dislike the finale (excepting the stupid fast forwards and Sookie ending up with a faceless hipster), I have to end up agreeing with the sentiment that this show hit it’s peak a long time ago and has been flogging a dead horse ever since.
If only they kept Russell Edgington and Steve Newlin around…
Review Score: TWO STARS (OUT OF FIVE)
Positives
- Bill’s death meaningful for the character
- Hoyt and Jessica married
- Eric, Pam, and Ginger backstory; Eric-Ginger sex scene
- Numerous Steve Newlin cameos
- Some genuinely hilarious scenes (like the nod to Alexander Skarsgård’s Zoolander role in the finale)
Negatives
- Wasting time when it’s the final season
- No interesting big bad
- No Eric-Bill, Jason-Andy
- Lafayette, Sam, and Jason underused
- Reverend Daniels and Lettie Mae overused
- Big character deaths pointless and forced
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