Alex Horne returns for the second year to prestigious Melbourne International Comedy Festival, bringing both The Horne Section as well as his brand new solo show Seven Years in the Bathroom in tow. The British comic had only just arrived to our shores less than 24 hours prior our chat, and seemed to be in good spirits, mostly because his children had adjusted to the time frame and therefore provided him with relative peace… for now. I inform him that the interview is a turning point for myself, as he becomes the first non-musician for me to interrogate with my dazzling intellect, although I claim it to be a shallow victory as his comedy style is somewhat of a grey area, as he is a musical act as well. He gives big hearty laugh “I would say, if it helps I’m definitely not a musician. I mean I’m in a band, but I really am the least musical person to ever be in a band’.
Most famous here for his work with The Horne Section at last year’s festival, Horne has brought a more traditional (in a way) stand-up routine with him as well titled Seven Years in the Bathroom, a compilation of facts based around the time spent on everyday activities. So thinking I’m being clever I ask him how long he took to write the show. ‘Much longer than average person would spend in their life trying to write about their life. I’d say about 9 months, it was a bit like a baby, you have the initial conception, the manifestation, and then out it pops’. He continued on to tell me about how this baby was conceived. ‘It was just procrastination really, like I was spending too much time on the Internet and I came across this site with all these statistics, and the headline was that we spend seven years in the bathroom. I just spent a whole day on this website trying to find out if my life was a typical life, I added up all the different times you spend doing different things and it added up to like 150 years, so it didn’t really make sense. But I found gold in terms of a comedy show.’
However, being aware of just how much time in our lives we waste on the simplest things hasn’t made Horne particularly conscious about what he’s doing with his life, although apparently he cuts corners during urinating and sex. ‘ I always wee whilst opening jars and have sex in queues just to save time’ he chortles raspingly down the phone. ‘But really, it’s more now that I know how much time I’m wasting, I’m more aware of it, but I do nothing about it. I tried for a while to wear jumpsuits to save time putting my trousers on in the morning. I think there’s a reason we waste time, it’s quite fun to waste time’. It seems the biggest time waster Horne discovered was the most obvious. “We sleep for 24 years of our life, for me that just seems like an odd bodily function; that we have to spend a third of our lives lying down with our eyes shut.’
While his show is comedy based around statistics, it would seem that comedy comes second to brining knowledge to others. ‘ There’s a vaguely educational theme to all of my shows and that’s more of a crutch really. If I can make people laugh then I’d be happy, if I could just stand up there for an hour and tell jokes I’d do that. I think I’m funny and obscure, so I lean on other aspects’.
The Horne Section is Horne’s other project, a comedy-musical free-for-all staring guests and all sorts of unexpected happenings. He and his band mates will be bringing this jazzed-up assortment of laughs to the Spiegeltent Tent this April. Being musically involved, despite not being musically skilled, certainly reflects on the old wives tale that all comedians want to be musicians, and vice versa. ‘It was a gradual find for it for me. The first rehearsal we had with the band, I hated it, because I had to sing for the first time in public and I really, really didn’t enjoy it at all. I’ve only just now, after a few years, become settled at the front of the stage singing, or being the front man. I think it was so funny at first because I was so uncomfortable’. Despite his awkwardness, he doesn’t have a particular preference to either one of his acts. ‘ Honestly it’s both, I think I prefer being on stage with them, I prefer having company on and off stage, but what I hate is the admin. Just trying to get the six of us in one place at one time, particularly somewhere like Australia, is such a faff. The pianist is turning on the day of the first show because he’s got a gig somewhere, so yeah I quite enjoy when I’m by myself not having others to answer for. But nothing beats being on stage with your mates’. The show itself is run off spontaneity, with a huge wheel on stage directing the course of the evening. It promises a different experience for each night; it even could see the band strip if lucks running against you, or so Horne said/threatened.
The Melbourne Comedy Festival has become such a staple in the city’s culture, a communal celebration, bringing people together through the unique talents of the world’s finest comedians, as well as some of the lesser-known, hidden gems. So who is Alex Horne’s pick for the 2012 event? ‘Can I say three people? I’d say Tim Key first of all, he’s kind of just breaking through in a big way in England, and people are discovering him. He’s unusual so it sort of takes a bit longer sometimes. He’s smart and funny, and just not what you’d expect from stand-up. Ross Noble just because when I was starting out he was my hero. I did a few shows with him when I was a newbie on the circuit, and he was very supportive and I haven’t seen him for years, and I was just flicking through the program and thought it would be good to see him do his stuff live again. Finally David O’Doherty, I really like him. I saw him do his show here last year and I didn’t realise how popular he was. It was good to see him with the crowd eating out of his hand.’
Another comedian Horne is close with is ‘rival’ Tim Fitzhigham. The two are constantly battling each other in weird competitions, including a recent one that saw the two comics compete in a race to see what could be done faster: the drawing of a million dots, or cycling from London to Dover. ‘That was this time last year, and the first week I was here, I spent it in my hotel room drawing dots. It felt like a waste of time… and it really was a waste of time. That was a genuine old bet that happened in the 19th century, we were recreating history, I think both of us wish we were born a couple of centuries earlier.’
While Horne seems to be a busy man, he admits that he doesn’t leave himself a lot of time to write his shows. ‘I absolutely need a deadline. Normally that deadline is having to perform in front of people, and not wanting to make a fool of yourself. I have two kids now and they are very good at forcing you to work, mainly because basically it’s such a relief to be doing anything other than changing nappies.’
You can catch Alex Horne at his shows ‘7 Years In The Bathroom’ and ‘The Horne Section’ at the 2012 Melbourne International Comedy Festival. For tickets and show information visit http://www.comedyfestival.com.au
