With the first of the Aussie BBQs behind us, and Karnivool on their way back to Australia, we were all treated to a day off in Mumbai before we headed to Delhi for the second show. Having spent most of our time in a bit of a glass bubble – taken from one event to the next with a chauffeur, lounging in five star accommodation – for our day off we opted to move outside of our comfort zone and experience some day-to-day life in Mumbai, mayhem and all. For this adventure I joined a few members of Jinja Safari and their manager and headed from the hotel to the more touristy areas; the Gateway of India, the Taj Mahal Hotel, street markets and all that fun stuff…
We ditched our chauffeurs and opted to take the trains; a journey by which any traveller to the region will tell you is nothing short of manic. Outside, meanwhile, it was about 34 degrees. Faeces layered the streets and I was barely outside for more than five minutes before I comically almost slipped and fell on a nice pile. Hopefully from an animal. We walked on the roads like the locals, feeling the cars as they barely passed us by; an unnerving sensation to say the least. We stopped by a local bakery for some Samosas on the way, where everything costs about 10 cents. Suddenly the “cheap” $1 snacks at the hotel seemed like an outrage!
When we arrived at the train station it was clear what everyone was talking about. Locals pushed their way onto overcrowded trains, often while the trains were moving. Proving slightly nerved by the process, the first attempt to board a train was a bit of a fail. By the time the train had emptied, it had already begun moving. Matt, the band’s manager, was the only one game enough to jump on, leaving myself with the three members of the band. We waited for the next train, assumed it would take us to the same place, and jumped on. We knew we were the last stop on the line, so thankfully didn’t have to think much beyond there – I daresay we would have ended up in the wrong place otherwise. The journey, though cramped and full of fairly constant stampedes as train regulars rushed off and on their transport, a process made only possible by the lack of closed doors.
The organised chaos that was the train system of India – which, after all, in a city like Mumbai is servicing as many people as are in the entirety of Australia – indeed worked just fine. As we let it all wash over us, and a select few were game enough to hang against the opened doors as we passed by entire cities – the smell of methane common – there was almost something cathartic about it all, a sense of freedom as we embarked on foot as the locals do, experiencing the side of India we had so far neglected in lieu of our pampered rock ‘n roll lifestyle.
We arrived at our destination, with Matt waiting for us at the other end, and we haggled with dodgy taxi drivers to take us to the Gateway of India. A quick look at a map showed we were about 15-20 minutes walk from the destination, though taxi drivers were trying to take advantage of the tourists and charge us quite a lot more than should be charged for such an excursion. So we walked it. The plan of the day, which regretfully started a lot later than it perhaps should have, was to head to the Gateway of India and board a ferry to Elephant Island. Unfortunately, by the time we arrived it was mid-afternoon and the final ferry had already departed, leaving us to walk aimlessly around this tourist mecca.
To call it frustrating to be in a tourist destination like this is an understatement. Metal detectors are everywhere, at every entrance, though one rarely spots a security guard; this is very much a show for the tourists to feel safe. The hotels do treat it a bit more seriously, mind you. But it’s the constant hassling that really gets to you. I thought it was bad in Europe, but here you have people from all walks of life trying to get your attention, rip you off, take your money or take a photo with you. One kid, was walking around telling tourists “I am India” and getting photos with them on his mobile phone. No idea what that was about, but when we refused to take the photo, some guy decided to do a massive spit right next to us. Nice.
Though most of us found our own ways to ignore the beggars, the children tugging at your legs for money, the people selling photographs and the ones who had “maps” for sale, which conveniently revealed bags of marijuana – also for sale – it would be Jinja Safari’s Marcus who would fall victim to what will forever be known as “Balloon Fraud”.
The vendors walk around with massive balloons for sale. Marcus naturally thinks this could be fun for the next Jinja Safari show. He buys some balloons. Once he has a look at them though, he discovers they are only regular sized. Another vendor spots his frustration, as then does another, and so suddenly, like flies heading towards a bright light, we are walking as quickly as we can to get out of this insane tourist area, as a half dozen peddlers are following us, trying to convince us to buy this, and buy that… we’ll give you the real deal!
After we escaped and enjoyed a brief stopover in a Starbucks, which felt very much out of place in amongst everything else, we headed for the famed markets of the area, which once again saw us being followed by peddlers and beggars. People tried pushing you into stores, women and children grabbed you at the hope of some money, and one eager tailor followed us from one end of the markets to the other encouraging us to buy new outfits.
I very much enjoyed bartering with the local vendors to get jewellery for my girlfriend, magnets for my Mum and so forth, getting them well below the advertised price, but still more than what they were worth – or so I was told. We did find one street kid who was actually a bit of a champion, and helped us manoeuvre our way through the markets. He seemed keen to check out the latest Bond film, so we thanked him with enough cash to do this. Here’s hoping he did.
As we walked away from the markets for a beer at local café and then a meal back at the hotel, one particularly eager street seller had finally convinced Marcus to purchase a drum. As we made our way back onto the crowded train, you could see a “I got suckered again didn’t I!?” look on his face, but you definitely better believe it that that drum will always have a great story behind it. And who knows – it might even make its way into the Jinja stage show one day.
I learnt a lot about India today. I learnt that it’s a fun adventure to explore the tourist areas of India, but I daresay it’s far more enjoyable to spend your time on the roads less travelled. The rest of my time in India would definitely back this statement up.
READ THE OTHER NINE PARTS OF THIS SERIES HERE.
