Leading up to the release of Madame Web it’s safe to say that the word hasn’t exactly been overtly positive. The usage of a certain line of dialogue regarding Dakota Johnson‘s character’s mother’s profession of working with spiders in the Amazon cemented the film’s meme status from the get-go – for the record, the line is paraphrased in the film itself and is far more naturally delivered – and after the critical mauling of fellow Sony/Marvel outing Morbius – a film that was so heavily lampooned online that the studio misguidedly assumed its popularity wasn’t ironic and re-released it in cinemas, only for it to tank again – S.J. Clarkson‘s superhero effort needed to defy enough expectation for the general masses to not “Morb” such an outing a second time.
To say Madame Web is a better film than Jared Leto’s vampiric “thriller” isn’t exactly high praise, but it’s certainly enough to justify a modicum of positivity towards a film that squanders far too much collective talent on a script that never feels like it got past the first draft. There’s also an editing process that doesn’t understand that less is often more, and a truly awful turn from Tahar Rahim as the villain of the piece – one who admittedly looks the part – who loses any of his intimidation and credibility through ADR that doesn’t remotely match his lip movement. It’s a clunky, messy action film for the most part, which only makes the moments it earns legitimate shine burn even more, as we see what could have been.
Those shining moments mostly come courtesy of Johnson herself. The actress’s own awkward demeanour and penchant for deadpan humour are on full display throughout (there’s a sequence at a baby shower that truly allows her to flex her comedic muscle to good use), and it’s a real shame that she wasn’t afforded the Marvel vehicle she so clearly deserves. Her Cassandra Web ultimately becomes the titular Madame Web, but for anyone expecting the star to battle CGI creations in coloured latex alongside the similarly attired Sydney Sweeney, Celeste O’Connor and Isabela Merced – whose Spider-influenced alter egos have all been teased throughout the marketing – will be deeply disappointed, as Madame Web, as a film, plays out largely spectacle-free.
When we meet Cassandra she’s rushing about New York City as a paramedic – cue chaotic editing – alongside Adam Scott‘s likeable Ben Parker. For those following the Spider-verse, that would be the eventual “Uncle Ben” to one Peter Parker, but as this film is set in 2003, which gives the licence for some enjoyable inclusions of time-appropriate references, such as Britney Spears’ “Toxic” getting a hefty shout-out, the future Spider-Man is merely cooking in the oven of Ben’s sister, Mary (Emma Roberts). The film only lightly references the Spider-Man we come to know through a paraphrasing of the infamous “With great power comes great responsibility” line, but Clarkson mostly keeps this as a contained story, with the spiders that Cassandra’s mother was researching prior to her death honing different abilities than what we’re used to seeing through Peter Parker.
Ultimately, Rahim’s Ezekiel Sims has certain powers that have been bestowed upon him by a particular Amazonian spider, one of which is the ability to see the future, and given that he is constantly seeing his own death at the hands of a trio of unidentified women – one guess as to who that trio is – he’s scouring New York City to find them and kill them before they tap into their destiny. Cassandra also starts to tinker with her ability to see the future, though her power is in its infancy, so you just know it’s going to take the majority of the film’s 116 minute running time for her to properly harness such; the early stages of her power and its uncertainty does give way to arguably the film’s best sequence, where she boards a train and witnesses Ezekiel’s massacre on the three young girls he believes will kill him – shy teen Julia (Sweeney), rebellious rich kid Mattie (O’Connor), and orphaned Anya (Merced) – in a series of vignettes in her mind that she tries to puzzle together before it comes to fruition.
But moments of promise are few and far between. And we could probably forgive the film for some of its faults had it leaned into the temperament of what audiences expect an action film to be, which is, you know, one that actually has action. There’s a large rinse-and-repeat mentality to the film that wears extremely thin after the first two-or-so times we realise that much of the apparent suspense is built off Cassandra thwarting Ezekiel’s plans after she literally sees it coming. And though large noises and flying shiny objects don’t forgive a film of its sins, it can help mask a bit of the emptiness, but here, if Cassandra isn’t driving a vehicle of some sort then the action is non-existent; and there’s only so many car chases (and calling them that is being generous) one can sit through politely.
As mentioned earlier, it’s a real shame Madame Web couldn’t overcome its own perceived reputation. Johnson deserves so much better, and what she gives the film it doesn’t remotely repay in her favour, but her sense of humour takes the film further than we expect. For that alone it earns points above the pariah of the Sony/Marvel canon that is Morbius, but not enough to support this as any kind of start of a new franchise that sadly feels bitten and down for the count before it’s even had a chance to rejuvenate itself.
TWO STARS (OUT OF FIVE)
Madame Web is now screening in Australian theatres.
