When first introduced to the story of CNN war cameraperson, Margaret Moth, Lucy Lawless immediately jumped at the chance. In local lore, Moth was a rockstar and an enigma. Having long eschewed directing, finally here was a story that Lawless could not resist. “It felt like destiny that I should be asked to tell the story of New Zealand’s, least known famous person, a true warrior princess. I had played one on TV, but Margaret Moth was the real deal. “
Following a rousing reception at this year’s Sundance Film Festival, Never Look Away (read our review here), which tells of the swashbuckling CNN combat camerawoman and her risk to put the viewer inside the conflict, is set to be released digitally from this week.
To coincide with the release, Peter Gray spoke with the Xena star about her move behind the camera, how it creatively fulfilled her compared to her work as an actress, and what she learned about herself as a storyteller whilst making the film.
Like a lot of people, I presume, I was not familiar with Margaret Moth’s story. Was that part of the appeal for you? To tell a story to let people know more about her.
Yes, but it was a weird compulsion to tell it. I’d never done (a documentary) before, and I don’t know what gave me the brass balls to male all these crazy promises. I mean, within seconds of receiving the email, I was possessed by bloody Margaret Moth herself! I don’t know what made me say it, but I’m so glad I did. And there was no backing out once I’d said (yes). I was like, “Shit, now I’ve actually got to find the money!” And two and a half years later, with a lot of angst and a lot of laughs, we were at Sundance. It’s completely changed my life. I just don’t want it to evaporate. I got to get the next thing going!
Was there anything that motivated you specifically to step into the documentary space as a whole? And how does it compare, for you, to acting in terms of creative fulfillment?
Well, we were wondering, “Sure, it could be a dramatization”, but that would have taken a lot of time that I didn’t have, and we’d have to find the writer, gather the information, the interviews…If we were finding a writer, we’d still be in pre-production. But also that art form is so known to me, and it wasn’t very appealing. Also, COVID was starting to happen in America in a big way, and I was scared that I would never find the money and everybody would die in the meantime, even just from old age. So, I took off on a wing and a prayer, and I just started interviewing people. I did not know what I was doing, but maybe that’s why I got to ask the questions an actor would ask, instead what a journalist might ask.
Were there any challenges in weaving it all together? Obviously you have a structure, but did you have an A to B, so to speak?
Well, no, because when you’re not working off a script, you’re going to have to do all the interviews and find who’s the strongest storyteller, who’s saying things that cogently want to lead into the next. What was very helpful is that we very quickly found the beginning and I knew what I wanted my end to be. I knew that the heart was her standing on a roof in Lebanon staring down an F16. I knew for some reason that that was a really strong story. I didn’t know how I was going to pull it off, because we didn’t have any images. But having a beginning and an end is kind of good. I wanted to start off strong with a mystery woman (who) can’t remember anything about her past, because, let’s face it, we all love an amnesiac, right?
Then it’s a hunt for “Who is she?” She’s such a crazy, transgressive badass, and I wanted to understand what held her together. I was getting all these disparate accounts, and they were at odds with one another. I’d never met anybody who was like this, and believe me, there’s a lot of tasty stuff I left on the cutting floor, or that I couldn’t corroborate. I couldn’t include anything I didn’t know for sure was true. But it was all very interesting stuff. I couldn’t figure out who she was at her core. And it wasn’t until very deep into the process that I met the family and realised, “Oh, what’s at your core is almost a void of love.” This pitiless childhood meant (she) had no capacity for pity of herself, and it was only through this catastrophic injury that she learned to love the world. It was finding the children at war, instead of the children she might have had herself.
As you mentioned about not being able to corroborate certain facts, do you feel that if you chose to dramatize the story that you would have included such stories?
Yeah, I do. I think you can take a lot more license that way.
Were there any collaborators that offered a unique or specific insight that shaped the final product we see?
Oh, all of them. Especially Jeff (Russi). He is kind of the alpha and omega of the story, in a way, because we learn Margaret as a lover and a friend through him, through his rage and loss when she’s injured, which is really quite amazing that he admitted that kind of vulnerability and that he kind of abandoned her. The film kind of helps put him back together again. When I first met him, he had been in a stupor of drugs and alcohol for, at least, 40 years. She did in 1992, so, what is that? 30-something years of drugs and alcohol? He had never examined his rage and his loss before. So he was really raw.
Then when we went back, once we had the money and everything, and he had reached a new level of understanding. It was a journey with him, and, in the end, he somehow felt the circle had been closed. He died at Christmas, so he never saw the film, but I was the last person to talk to hum, and he was laughing. His family were afraid he’d taken his own life somehow, but I really didn’t think so. Sure enough, the toxicology revealed he hadn’t done anything to himself. He was just a treasure and a great friend to me through the whole (process). He was my angel.
When you’re telling a story, there’s a certain entertainment factor to it, but, for you, is there ever a balance in educating at the same time?
No, my ambition is never to educate. My ambition is to entertain you. And if I can make you feel something, I want to do it while revealing human nature, not telling you how to feel about any of it. That’s your privilege to decide who’s a reliable narrator and who (Margaret) really was. I only want to entertain you. You only have 20 second on streaming before people change the channel, so I have to hook you with something real tasty, and then I smash some “Barracuda”, and take you off on this ride, you know? Got to get them on the roller coaster.
Did you learn anything as a storyteller, or even as a person, with this experience?
Yeah, I didn’t know I was capable of hyper focus. I started with the assumption that I didn’t know much. I’m new at this. And then I realised through the process like, “No, no, excuse me. This? I know!” I had people who didn’t want to put the family (in the film). I had some resistance to the family. I knew we needed the family. I really dug my heels in. Without the family, every woman in the place is going to “Boo.” I guess that’s what we now call the female gaze. I want the subjective accounts of the lovers. I’m not a journalist. I’m not going to give you a series of events. This is people’s own interpretation, and memory is fallible, and we read things differently. That’s the fun of it. You’re always wondering, “Where’s the truth?”
And I don’t know if this is a heavy question to end with, but looking at the reaction of the film, it’s been incredibly positive. Looking at the film overall, do you measure its success by its impact, its reception, or something else?
Gosh, that’s a bit of a difficult question, because I’ve never really been in this position before. I’ve never had to think about that. I think in television, it’s about wanting people to love it. I guess for (Never Look Away) it’s about bums in seats. When you make a film about somebody who isn’t famous, and it’s just a little documentary-style film, taking people on a journey who hadn’t met Margaret Moth, I just want people to see it, like any of my TV shows. You want people to feel something. That’s success. But I’m terrified that it’s all going to evaporate and I’ll tumble to the bottom of Rotten Tomatoes (laughs).
I think you’ve got a very long way to go before that happens. It’s an incredible film. I’m so glad people are going to be able to see it.
Thank you, Peter. And if people want to know where they can see it, it’s streaming from Friday in America, so Saturday anywhere else that you can rent movies. It’ll be on Prime and Apple, and any streaming service you can rent.
Never Look Away will be available to rent digitally from November 22nd, 2024.
