WARNING: This review contains spoilers.
“Hitler….Hitler…” was the name on the roll call rather than Bueller for this episode of Danger 5, which had the super team undercover at an American high school.
Hitler’s disguise this time is a letterman jacket-wearing jock, who hopes to find a date and be crowned the King of Christmas at the school dance. He has his sights set on the aptly-named Holly – a gum-chewing, sassy, Arian girl.
Showing his talents in art class as well as in the gym with ‘lunch ball’, Hitler manages to evade both Tucker and Pierre, impressing Holly along the way. Even Ilsa’s creative efforts to shoot Hitler through the school’s plumbing system are quashed.
Jackson, on the other hand, is after Carlos Mendes – the wolf with the super ninja-enhanced ruby eyes. A battle that starts off in the classroom moves to the local Burger Hat fast food joint, where Mendes ninja-stars Jackson, pinning him to the counter.
Tucker – who was reduced to a blubbering, fetal positioned, naked mess at the sight of Hitler – is put through an expert ninja training montage under the watchful eye of white lion, McKenzie. Not before a good watering in the kiddie pool, though.
With the final stage of his training complete (making the perfect cup of instant coffee for McKenzie), Tucker is deemed a fully qualified ninja and is sent out to kill Mendes and rescue Jackson while he’s at it. Cue a Street Fighter style animated fight scene between Tucker and Mendes, in which Tucker gets hilariously dominated.
Meanwhile, Hitler and Holly are getting ready to go to the dance, with Hitler pinning a rosy, swastika-shaped corsage to Holly’s pretty-in-pink dress. When Holly isn’t looking, Hitler kills Holly’s family and blows up her home, just for gags.
They get to the dance and everything seems like it’s going to plan for Hitler. Unitl, the King and Queen of Christmas are announced as none other than Pierre and Ilsa! The two helped each other get ready for the dance by getting drunk and shaving each other’s bikini lines.
Hitler is furious, and goes on a Carrie-esque rampage through the high school. He stabs the teacher through a packet of Cheese ‘n’ Chives chips, kills a near-naked girl in the showers with a shark, and a horny couple by the lockers with not one, but four chainsaws!
Back at the Burger Hat, Tucker seems overpowered by Mendes, but just at the right moment, Jackson breaks free to put on a cassette tape (Pierre’s latest single), distracting Mendes. Tucker manages to lop Mendes’ head right off his shoulders, triumphantly avenging Claire’s tragic demise.
The visage of Hitler appears on a blackboard in a classroom, where Ilsa and Pierre are trying to keep Holly safe. By now, the police are privy to the chaos at the high school, and arrive on the scene shortly after Hitler and Danger 5 have all fled.
Disappointed, an officer surveys the wreckage, lamenting the lack of clues or suspects. But, surprise, surprise – ‘Agent Hitler, FBI’ appears with four dossiers on each of the remaining Danger 5 members.
‘Til next time!
Highlights of this episode were definitely the dweeb with the 3D glasses who laminates his porn, and Shaun Micallef as the naïve teacher who thinks the dicks drawn all over his blackboard are flowers. Let’s hope this isn’t the last we see of Micallef in Danger 5, Season 2.
Review Score: FOUR STARS (OUT OF FIVE)
Danger 5 Screens on Sunday Nights at 9.30pm on SBS2. It’s also available through SBS OnDemand.
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