At the end of the last episode, Danger 5 went back in time with the help of a putrid tasting cocktail, in order to follow Hitler Holly and catch her before she messes too much with the space-time continuum. This episode, they’ve landed back in Austria on a Christmas Eve during WWII.
The team remembers that, originally, they were there in Austria on a mission to save Colonel Chestbridge, whom Hitler is holding captive. Pierre warns them all that they must be very careful not to say anything, touch anything, kill anyone or do anything that would wreak havoc with the space-time continuum. This includes not talking to your former self.
Tucker realises that here, in the past, Claire would still be alive, so he completely disregards all of Pierre’s warnings and goes on a mission to find Claire and be with her again.
Soon enough, all of the Danger 5 team have met their former selves. Most notably, Pierre meets Past Pierre. That is, the actor who played Pierre in Season 1 meets the actor who has played Pierre throughout this season. And best of all, nothing is mentioned regarding their obviously different ethnicities! As hard as Future Pierre tries to resist talking to Past Pierre and messing up the space-time biz, the temptation is too strong and the two Pierres, naturally, agree that “this is cause for a celebration!’”
In an evil science laboratory in his headquarters, Past Hitler watches on with glee as two white-coated scientists use a gigantic instrument to extract the Aryan characteristics out of a girl to feed back into Hitler. However, the procedure backfires and the poor girl’s face melts from her skull, as she is not pure enough.
Hitler demands that they make the purest Aryan human being possible, so that he can extract their Aryan perfection and make himself invincible. The scientists inform Hitler that this would need to start with an embryo and would take 18 years until fully ready.
Now, we understand Hitler’s ultimate plan for the invincible Holly – she is the pure Aryan being that Hitler made as a Christmas present for himself back in WWII and then went into the future to possess and travel back in time! Wait a minute, there’s at least 35 years between WWII and the 80s…not 18? Hmm. Meh, it’s Danger 5. There are dinosaurs in this show.
Meanwhile, future Tucker has spotted Claire! She’s in the clutches of a bald, hook-handed Nazi General (Shaun Micallef making another fun cameo!). Tucker, dressed as a Nazi soldier, tricks the General into allowing Tucker to join him in taking Claire down to the dungeons to, “unwrap this Christmas present.”
Just at the right moment, Tucker shoots General Micallef in the head with a Christmas cracker gun, whisking Claire off to a candlelit bedroom. Claire is confused, asking Tucker, “Have you found a secret dossier?” and urging him to focus on the mission. It takes Tucker kissing her for Claire to realise what’s up, and then she’s totally into it. Before Tucker can “intercourse” Claire, however, Past Tucker comes in and tries to shoot Future Tucker. The Tuckers are fighting each other over Claire when they stumble into the room with the two Pierres. Past Pierre has been showing Future Pierre new cocktails, while Future Pierre has been introducing Past Pierre to all the technologies of the ‘80s – keyboards, boom boxes and cassette tapes.
The two Ilsas and the two Jacksons have met up, and Future Jackson – who is older and more hardened than Past Jackson – catches the lustful eye of Past Ilsa. Future Ilsa discourages Past Ilsa, however, telling her that she has bigger fish to fry in the future. Namely, her now ex-husband Kruschev, who gave her the magical charm bracelet she wears, a Russian royal family heirloom. Future Jackson urges Past Jackson to be honest with Ilsa and tell her how he feels, before he misses his chance to be with her.
Future Tucker and Pierre fill in their past selves and Claire all about what is going on with Hitler and how he has sent Holly back in time for himself. Along with some convincing lines of cocaine offered up by Past Pierre, the group all agrees to fight together to defeat Hitler.
The past and future Danger 5 teams all meet up together by the magic cocktail fountain they discovered in the mountain, getting slightly distracted by cocktails and partying. Past Jackson grabs the ‘Danger-gator’ missile launcher, and grinning, suggests that the teams “go win some war.”
Hitler Holly has arrived into Hitler’s science lab and the conversion procedure begins. Hitler has become invincible! Colonel Chestbridge escapes his bonds and grabs a machine gun (with the help of a spy posing as one of Hitler’s German Shepherds), but his bullets can’t harm Hitler at all.
The past Danger 5 team are taken by surprise and sprayed with bullets by Invincible Hitler. The future team is devastated, especially Tucker who has lost his Claire for a second time.
Holly, now unpossessed, turns the Aryan extractor machine’s ray onto Hitler, whom she still believes is ‘Johnny Hitler’, her prom date from the second episode. Hitler is injured by the machine’s ray, giving future Danger 5 team, Holly and Colonel Chestbridge the opportunity to flee Hitler’s headquarters before it falls apart into a pile of rubble.
The team makes a point of assuming that Hitler must have been crushed in the destruction of his headquarters and that he has, once again, been killed. They head back into the future with the help of Pierre’s cocktail (the secret ingredient is mozzarella), however, when they land, the world they once knew is completely changed. Everyone speaks German, they are in a fast-food store called ‘Hitler-Hat’ and everything around them has Hitler’s face on it!
Next episode, the final episode, will show us what Danger 5 must do to change this hellish Hitler-controlled future world, back to the neon-drenched ‘80s they know and love.
This episode had some great throwbacks to the first season. It was especially awesome getting to see the first season’s Pierre involved with the show once again. And seeing that cheesy old pale blue uniform the first season’s team wore. For the costumes, the partying and the ridiculousness of Hitler’s plan to extract the invincibility from a pure Aryan girl, this episode was a season highlight.
Review Score: FIVE STARS (OUT OF FIVE).
Danger 5 screens of SBS 2 and is available on SBS On Demand.
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